I WANT THE REAL THING, NOT A COUNTERFEIT

I HAD TO KNOW THIS WAS GOD

First I want to thank those of you who have sent word that they are learning from this blog about the biblical gift of tongues.

Second,  I want to emphasize once again that although this is an admittedly mysterious gift, it is completely supported in scripture, both Old and New Testament (regardless of some church doctrines). The verses are noted in my previous two blogs.

Third, I will say again, nobody wants to be deceived or get into a fanatical emotional experience that has no place in true worship.

Now on to my own seeking experience. Having satisfied my intellectual need to see true biblical support for the gift of speaking in tongues, I began to earnestly desire this prayer language--not unto men for no man understands it, but unto God.

I asked the Lord to show me which church I should be attending. He led me to the story of the woman at the well. Jesus effectively pointed out that the true worshippers are not--at the mountain or temple or 144th Baptist, Bapticostal, Evangelical, Roman Cathli-shionnary, etc.--but they worship in spirit and in truth.

Okay, Lord. That's what I want to do. I've been praying to receive this baptism of the Holy Spirit and I want to worship You in this spirit-inspired language and in truth, just as the apostles did throughout the New Testament. Why am I not receiving it?

By this time, I was so spiritually hungry for more of God. Yet I did not know how to receive. I had the following dialogue with the Holy Spirit over the next several days:

Lord, I want the real thing. I don't want a counterfeit. The Holy Spirit answered (He doesn't speak of Himself but brings to my remembrance the Words of Jesus):

Luke 11:11

If a son shall ask bread of any of you that is a father, will he give him a stone? or if he (the child) asks for  a fish, will he (the Father) for a fish give him a serpent?

So I don't have to fear a counterfeit? You won't let me be deceived?

Luke 11:13

If ye then, being evil,(natural) know how to give good gifts unto your children: how much more shall your heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to them that ask him?

Heavenly Father, I'm asking for the Holy Spirit. I believe this is a good gift. But nothing is happening. I no longer doubt this gift is for me. What I doubt is my worthiness to receive.

2 Cor. 5:21

For He made Jesus who knew no sin to be sin for us, that we might become the righteousness of God in Him. (And in Rom. 3:21-22) Now the righteousness of God has been manifested apart from the law, although the Law and the Prophets bear witness to it—the righteousness of God through faith in Jesus Christ for all who believe” (Romans 3:21–22).

This is too wonderful! Lord, you mean I can receive in Your righteousness and not my own? I don't have to do a lot of good works first? Confess some more sins? Repent again? What do I need to do?

Luke 11:10

For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened.

Does that mean I am supposed to keep on asking? Seeking? Knocking? I don't know if I am insulting You by my persistence, but I'm not giving up.

And so it went.

I kept going forward at every meeting asking for prayer to receive the baptism of the Holy Spirit. I held on. I let go. I did everything those tongue-praying believers recommended. I felt I must have shrunk a few inches from hands laid on my head.  

I pestered the Lord for weeks and months.

Finally one Sunday night, disappointed and discouraged, I stopped at a red light on my way home from a service and said, "Lord, I've been seeking and praying. I don't know what else to do. I'm giving up. I'm just going to open my mouth and start praising You."

Before the light turned green, I heard my own voice speaking a beautiful language that I had never learned. I knew it was language, having taught French and English, I recognized syllables and cadence. I did not know what the words meant, but I was so gratefully joyous that I drove around for an hour or so praising God in this wonderful new language, rejoicing and laughing with Him.

I knew I was experiencing the real deal described in the book of Acts. All I had to do was open my mouth!

Regarding my honest fear about the counterfeit, here's the wonderful confirmation which the Lord in His wisdom gave to me. In 1 Cor. 12: 3 I read: "Therefore I make known to you that no one speaking by the Spirit of God calls Jesus accursed, and no one can say that Jesus is Lord except by the Holy Spirit."

Two of the words I spoke in this private prayer language sounded like: Yay-shoo-uh Ha-Mu-shee-uhk.

I had 
no ideas what those words meant until later when I happened upon a Jewish-Christian broadcast. They are Hebrew words: Yeshua Hamashiach. They mean: Jesus the Messiah.

What more do I need? I could NOT be speaking those words "except by the Holy Spirit."

From that moment on I never doubted the experience. That was only the beginning of a new prayer life in Christ. Tomorrow I will describe what I call my Abraham moment.