Sense and Nonsense, Look How Far We've Come

Sense & Nonsense

By Sara and Sadie

What the School board Expected in the 1800s:

Miss Prudence, you must teach reading, writing, prayers, and simple math. Use repetition from the Bible and the Christian Horn Book.

We expect the highest moral and ethical standards from you and your students.

Start the day with prayer and the Pledge of Allegiance.

Never smoke or be seen in a public place where liquor is served.

Courtship is discouraged, but if you do accept a suitor, you must never be seen in public without a chaperone.

What the Schoolboard Expects Today: Updated Mar 5, 2013

Ms. Lezben,any references to Christmas or Easter are not tolerated. 

We respect the Islamics, the Hindus, the Wiccans, etc.

To protect transgender students from discrimination, all students are welcome everywhere on campus-- including the restrooms of their choice. 

In order to protect students from feelings of inadequacy, we do not fail anyone, or make a show of rewarding excellence.

Elementary children should be able to “define sexual orientation.” Eighth graders must be able to “define emergency contraception and its use.”

Ninety percent of pollsters say that to require teachers not to get drunk on weekends interferes with personal liberty. However, we do discourage getting drunk with students.

SADIE SAYS: The board forgot to ask if Ms. Lezben can shoot a gun.