The following is a composite of fun from various contributors to my email. I'd be glad to list authors if I had their names. I'm sure they will enjoy the adaptations.
Nobody ever feels their age. You either feel much younger, or much older than you are. Mr. H says he's only as old as the woman he feels. That would make him around age three, because he loves to hug his granddaughter. Grand kids are the best part of growing old.
Being old just sort of sneaks up on you. Oh there were a few signs. These are not gray hairs you see on my head. They are wisdom highlights. I just happen to be extremely wise.
Wise, not extremely old. Contrary to popular thought, wisdom does not just arrive with old age. I know lots of old people who are not very wise at all. Think about some of our politicians and you'll know what I mean.
The thing about being this old is, well, you don't get to practice. I've never been this old before. I may have lost some of my vigor, however, I have lost none of my wonder. Wonder where my glasses are? Wonder where I left the phone? Wonder what day it is?
Many of us older people find that our face slides down under the chin where it seems to gather in graceful folds. Well, that's what I call them. Sounds better than saggy pleated jowls.
Last November, Mrs. M was afraid to leave her house until after Thanksgiving.
Have you been to one of those Medicare welfare checks where your doctor asks if you
are having memory problems? Can you find your way to the restroom by yourself? Know what your name is?
I told my doctor that I have not stopped at a mail box to order a hamburger, and I've never driven into the car wash from the wrong side. She gave me a good mark for my checkup, even though I admitted that I have to pray the Lord will show me where I parked my car at Wal-mart.
Mr. M. never worries about having Alzheimer's. He says he has some-timers.
Sometimes the thoughts in his head get bored and go out for a stroll through his mouth. Usually not a good thing.
Speaking of memory, how many remember these four great religious truths?
1. Muslims do not recognize Jews as God's chosen people.
2. Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah.
3. Protestants do not recognize the pope as the leader of the Christian world.
4. Baptists do not recognize each other at the liquor store.
No matter how old you are, laughter does good like medicine. So if you can't laugh at yourself, just call me and I'll laugh at you. One of us is sure to feel better.